Is There More Power In Feeling Or Picturing Your Goals?
If you’re a female online entrepreneur, chances are you’ve done exercises like vision boards, affirmations/mantras, journaling, etc. Basically, anything to keep your head straight and positive.
Why? Because running your own show is tough. The ups and downs of entrepreneurship are very real and can be made worse if you’re working from home and kind of in a bubble.
Your family and friends might not understand what you do, and the pressure of telling your social circle that “business is great” can be awful.
The most difficult things are to be patient and consistent. If you’re offering something that solves a problem and are true to your values, your efforts will pay off…
But dammit, when??
So you find a Facebook Group of like-minded business owners, read articles, listen to podcasts, and generally try to envision your best life and your goals - the reasons you’re doing this whole entrepreneur thing in the first place.
I’ve done vision exercises many different ways, but I’ve always had trouble putting myself in the 1st person, meaning, I can see myself from the outside in but not through my own eyes.
I find my difficulty being 1st person in my visions makes it difficult to connect with what I want and difficult to stay grounded in being grateful right now.
I have a loose vision of a dream house - but I only see two pieces. I see a beautiful covered porch that overlooks acreage with forests and fields. I envision walking out on this porch with a white beadboard ceiling and Adirondack chairs for my morning coffee. The second thing I see is my home office, with glass french doors, lots of yellow flowers, and a view of our acreage out a giant window that’s on my left as I sit at my desk. With both of these I see myself from the outside in.
The other disconnect for me is we’re now in the home we’re planning on being in for a very long time. There is no covered porch and the outside scenery is not what I envision - but I love our home so much my vision feels almost like a betrayal - a little intense, I know.
My vision not aligning with my current plans creates a discord between being happy now and feeling unfulfilled at the same time. Do I just need to practice more? Maybe.
Vision Boards are probably the most common examples taught in this area. While I love the exercise itself, having a vision board up in my office feels extremely vulnerable and like I need to keep others’ icky judgements away from them.
I had a check written to myself for my monthly income goal pinned up on my vision board. My mom came to visit, saw it, and asked, “What is that?! What is that check for??” - uuuuugh. The question was dripping with judgement, incredulousness, and decades of crappy family money mindsets. While I know she meant no harm, I felt so embarrassed and self-conscious I never felt good about that check again.
I know that my insecurities about others’ judging my vision board are simply projections of my own blocks. Yeah, I get it - but it doesn’t make it feel different.
I’ve come so far in my 3 years in business, with my mindset blocks and internal struggles that I know are the speed bumps in my road to success.
But like my visions, I see what’s going on from outside in. I can identify it, observe it, understand it - and I feel powerless to make changes from inside. I’m an overthinker ad nauseum, part of my INF/TJ personality, and am discovering ways to take baby steps towards changes instead of losing sleep and suffering from “analysis paralysis”.
(Want to watch a video on overthinking and left vs. right brain? Join my free Facebook Group and look for the video titled “Overthinking Your Business” - make sure you answer the questions when you request to join.)
Since last fall, I have grown leaps and bounds in discovering more about who I am as an entrepreneur and what makes me and my business tick. I have spent the last month or so really trying to up my meditation/vision skills. After a few days I typically fall off the wagon with frustration.
Then I happened across an article that talked about how INFJs think in images, and not words. I thought, “Well yeah, I totally do and I’ve never thought about it like that.” This thought was immediately followed by, “Then Why THE F*@K can’t I envision my goals?!”
I can almost touch my business and personal breakthroughs. It feels like restless leg syndrome in my whole body. I can’t put my finger on it, I can’t place it, I just know it’s there. After I read that article I thought, “What does that feeling LOOK like?”
It came to me a few days ago in an overwhelming vision/feeling of being a racehorse at the starting gate.
At little bizarre, I know, but stick with me.
The feeling is one of anticipating, stomping, muscle twitching, snorting with frustration (which I might actually do in real life).
The starting gate consists of all the ways I’m still blocked from my goals.
Networking with people blocks.
The horse doesn’t know when the gate is going to open. There’s a single-minded focus, coupled with nervous anticipation.
Now I’m going to go out there a little bit…
Racehorses have a jockey. The jockey is my connection to the universal flow. It is ease and patience.
The jockey has no doubt the gate will open.
I know, I know - but seriously - this came to me clear as day and I didn’t so much see through the eyes of the horse as I FELT it.
And then I thought, “Ok if I’m connecting on a physical and emotional level with what a racehorse at the starting gate feels like..
Then what does running the race feel like??
In the zone.
Doing what comes naturally.
The horse is working hard, yes - but it’s relying on it’s muscle memory from training, it’s intensely focused and doing what’s in it’s DNA...and it’s letting the jockey decide the finer points of strategy.
Now, every time I feel that tense frustration of waiting impatiently, I envision that starting gate falling away and launching into the flow with every muscle and facet of my abilities.
If you’ve stuck with me here, thank you. It’s hard to unravel those split-second moments of understanding - when the veil thins for a moment. It’s harder to make sense of it in writing and be willing to put it out there. I hope my mom doesn’t read this. ;)
But there’s one thing more important to me than my insecurity and pride. It’s hoping that conveying my struggles and breakthroughs might help someone else.
I’m writing about this - however nonsensical and meandering - because maybe you too have trouble connecting with your goals and visions. Maybe you too have felt that you don’t quite “get it” when it comes to all this affirmations/meditations/humming on a hilltop while picturing driving a Land Rover stuff.
My breakthrough here is that grounding yourself in the physical FEELING in your body when you hit uncomfortable blocks might help you connect with your vision in a different way to move forwards with your goals.
You will know what those uncomfortable blocks are when you hear and feel them within yourself.
I am not an expert.
I don’t know how to do this.
What if no one shows up?
I don’t want to deal with money.
What if, what if?
Sound familiar? Now every time this crap comes up for me, I envision the starting gate falling away and launching powerfully onto the racetrack. (p.s. - at no time in my vision do I see or think about any other horses on the track. That’s not on purpose either, it just never occurred to me.)
If you’re not syncing up with the “traditional” (ha) ways of envisioning your goals, try something else and be patient with yourself. Try connecting with the feeling of your goals. As my good friend Cat says, “Don’t follow a blueprint, follow your YOUprint.”
I’d love to know how this blog resonated (or didn’t) with you. Drop me a comment below, or join my free Facebook Group and let’s chat about it.
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