Every January, the internet screams "New Year, New You!" like it's a competition. Set big goals. Make this your year. Social media and self-help influencers urge us to go faster, aim higher, achieve more. They shame you into signing up for their intense programs, downloading more checklists, making it sound like it's so easy if you just want it bad enough.

But let's pause and ask: Is this really working for us?

For most women entrepreneurs dealing with burnout, traditional goal-setting feels like an endless cycle of performance without purpose. We check the boxes, hit the milestones, collect the external gold stars—and then wonder why nothing actually changed.

It's time for a different approach. One rooted in building self-trust, embracing mindful choices, and focusing on presence over perfection.

This year, instead of chasing goals that leave you exhausted, I'm inviting you to a mindset shift: keep promises to yourself, slow down, and show up in a way that actually fits your real, chaotic life.

And I invite you to join me.

Why Traditional Goal-Setting Is Broken (Especially for Women Entrepreneurs)

The problem with goal-setting isn't the idea itself—it's how we've been taught to approach it.

Too often, goals become about performance rather than transformation. They prioritize external validation over internal alignment, leaving little room for genuine, lasting change.

Let me give you some personal examples of what I mean:

The Triathlon Goals That Didn't Stick

In 2005 and 2006, I competed in two triathlons, a half marathon, and several shorter endurance races. I trained hard. I completed every single one. I got the medals, the finish line photos, the congratulations.

But when I got injured? I stopped running altogether.

The goals were met. I got the accolades. But they didn't create a lasting habit or lifestyle change. Because they were about the finish line, not the journey.

The 75 Hard Challenge That Felt... Hard

For my 41st birthday in 2021, I completed the 75 Hard challenge. If you're not familiar, it's 75 days of following a strict set of rules: two 45-minute workouts (one outdoors), a gallon of water daily, no alcohol, progress photos, reading 10 pages of non-fiction.

I checked every single box for 75 days straight.

And you know what happened on day 76? Nothing stuck.

Because the habits were tied to the challenge—to the performance of it—not my priorities. Not sustainability. The long checklist of daily to-dos wasn't aligned with my actual life.

The 50+ Books a Year Trap

For the past several years, I've read over 50 books annually. Mostly business books. They were inspiring in the moment—I'd highlight passages, take notes, feel motivated.

But most of them didn't lead to action.

Instead, I built a habit of consumption without creation. I was feeding my brain information but not actually applying it to my business or life.

The common thread in all of these? Achieving goals brought temporary satisfaction and that external "attaboy" gold star. But without the right mindset—without self-trust and intentional presence—they rarely led to meaningful transformation.

And if you're a woman entrepreneur reading this? You probably know exactly what I'm talking about.

The Hidden Cost of Goal-Setting for Women Entrepreneurs

Here's what most productivity advice won't tell you: traditional goal-setting is designed for people whose lives are predictable.

It assumes you can batch your content on Monday, hold client calls on Tuesday, and take Fridays off, every week without fail. It assumes your calendar stays intact. That emergencies don't happen. That you're not also managing a household, caring for aging parents, or being the emotional support system for everyone around you.

Research shows women are twice as likely to experience severe stress and anxiety compared to men, largely due to balancing business responsibilities with caregiving roles and societal expectations (Brainz Magazine | Entrepreneur). We're not just running businesses—we're running our entire lives while trying to hit arbitrary performance metrics that don't account for the mental load we carry.

So when the planner fails by Tuesday, when the goal feels overwhelming by week three, when you haven't crossed off half your to-do list by the end of the month?

You think you're the problem.

But you're not. It’s trying to use this approach to self-improvement.

Introducing Presence Over Perfection

We’ve all heard the phrase progress over perfection, but even that can feel like a hamster wheel—still chasing, still striving, still measuring.

What if we focused instead on presence over perfection?

Presence is about slowing down and making intentional, mindful choices aligned with your values and your actual capacity. It's about celebrating small wins and learning from the moments when things don't go as planned—without spiraling into guilt or self-criticism.

Examples of Presence in Action:

Noticing the desire to snack in the evening and pausing to check in with your body about where that craving is actually coming from (stress? boredom? actual hunger?).
Saying no to an overcommitment to protect white space in your calendar instead of defaulting to "I'll figure it out."
Taking five deep breaths before responding when you're tempted to react emotionally to a client email or family conflict.

Presence helps us trust ourselves to make better choices moment by moment through paying attention to our direct experience with curiosity Mindful. This builds confidence and fosters lasting habits that actually stick.

The Mindset Shift: From Achieving Goals to Building Self-Trust

What if growth wasn't something you achieve, but something you embody?

This mindset shift means stepping away from the hustle and content treadmill mentality. It means embracing intentionality and self-awareness instead of constantly chasing the next milestone.

For me, this has meant adopting one guiding principle:

I Keep My Promises to Myself.

Not big, lofty promises like "I'll launch my course by Q2" or "I'll work out 5 days a week."

But small, meaningful promises like:

I'll journal for 5 minutes every morning.
I'll take a walk when I feel stuck instead of scrolling Instagram.
I'll stop working at 6pm on weekdays.

By focusing on small, manageable actions, I've learned to trust my ability to grow—not through rigid goals, but through mindful, intentional choices.

And that trust? That's what actually creates lasting change.

How to Build Self-Trust Through Small Promises

Self-trust isn't built overnight. It's cultivated through consistency and honoring small commitments, gradually learning that you can rely on yourself to handle difficult situations (Mindfulness Muse).

Here's how to start:

1. Choose One Small, Daily Practice

Pick something manageable and aligned with your values. Not a 90-minute morning routine—something you can actually do even on your worst Tuesday.

Examples:

Journaling for 5 minutes
Stretching for 10 minutes each morning
Saying a daily affirmation out loud

2. Celebrate Your Mindful Moments

Acknowledge when you make choices on purpose (with presence) that align with your goals.

Did you pause before responding to that frustrating email? Win. Did you say no to a commitment that would have drained you? Celebrate it.

These small victories reinforce your ability to show up for yourself.

3. Reflect Without Judgment

If you miss a day or make a choice you regret, don't spiral into guilt.

Use it as an opportunity to observe and recalibrate:

What got in the way?
What can I adjust for tomorrow?
How can I show myself compassion instead of criticism?

This is the difference between self-trust and perfectionism. Self-trust says, "I'm learning." Perfectionism says, "I failed."

The Impact of Presence: What Actually Changes

When we focus on presence instead of perfection, we make room for intentional growth that sticks.

In Your Business:

Presence allows you to prioritize meaningful tasks and make decisions aligned with your vision—instead of getting caught up in busywork or the latest shiny marketing tactic that promises overnight results.

Managing energy becomes more important than managing time, with focus shifting to strategic revenue activities rather than constantly filling your calendar.

In Your Personal Life:

Presence deepens your connection to yourself and your loved ones, creating more harmony and fulfillment.

More presence and less reactivity builds trust in your household relationships. Your kids notice when you're actually listening instead of half-present with your phone in your hand.

In Your Health:

Small, mindful habits create sustainable changes through disrupting automatic behavior patterns and creating space between triggers and responses. You're not white-knuckling your way through another restrictive diet—you're building a relationship with your body based on trust.

Practical Strategies for Embracing Presence Over Perfection

Here are actionable ways to bring presence into your daily life:

Set Daily Intentions

Each morning, set a simple intention like:

"I will be kind to myself today."
"I will pause before responding to stress."
"I'll protect my energy by saying no when needed."

Use Mindful Pausing

When faced with a decision—whether it's a new client opportunity, a social commitment, or just how you spend your afternoon—take a deep breath and ask:

"Does this align with my values and my actual capacity right now?"

Journal for Reflection

Use this prompt to build self-awareness:

"What is one small thing I can do every day to build trust in myself?"

Track Your Promises

Create a simple habit tracker to record the small promises you keep. This visual cue reinforces your progress and builds confidence.

You're not tracking to judge yourself. You're tracking to build evidence that you are someone who shows up for yourself.

Slowing Down to Speed Up: The Counterintuitive Truth

Slowing down can feel counterintuitive in a fast-paced world—especially at the start of a new year when everyone's screaming "GO BIGGER! GO FASTER!"

But here's what I've learned: slowing down is the fastest path to sustainable growth.

When you slow down, you:

Gain clarity about what truly matters (instead of chasing every opportunity)
Avoid burnout by aligning actions with your energy and capacity
Strengthen your ability to stay present and mindful in the moment

This is exactly what we practice inside Chaos Detox—my weekly planning method built for women entrepreneurs dealing with burnout.

Mind management comes before time management.

It's about learning to:

Pause and ask yourself if your commitments actually make sense for YOU
Create white space in your calendar as a buffer against life's chaos
Build a weekly routine that flows and flexes with your life instead of crumbling the moment plans get derailed

If that sounds like what you need, check out Chaos Detox.

Your Next Step: One Small Promise This Week

Here's your action step:

Pick one small daily promise you can keep.

Something easy enough to do every day, but meaningful enough to matter.

Maybe it's:

5 minutes of journaling
Turning off your phone after dinner
Taking one mindful breath before checking your first email

Keep that promise for seven days.

Notice how your self-trust starts to build from the inside out.

Because letting go of goals isn't about giving up. It's about creating space for a life that feels aligned and sustainable.

By focusing on presence over perfection and keeping promises to yourself, you build trust, clarity, and calm that lasts long after the New Year hype fades.

Need More Help with Time Management as a Female Entrepreneur?

Join The Productivity Rebellion (Free Monthly Guide)

If getting out of chaos feels impossible right now, I want to invite you to join The Productivity Rebellion—my free monthly guide for women who refuse to choose between success and sanity.

Once a month, you'll get one strategy that actually fits your chaotic life as a female entrepreneur, real stories from my month (not Instagram-perfect advice), and the chance to ask me anything—I answer subscriber questions on the podcast. Think of it as your monthly reset when you're tired of holding everything together with duct tape and coffee.

Sign up here →

Start Chaos Detox: Weekly Planning Built on Self-Trust, Not Hustle

Ready to stop chasing goals that leave you exhausted?

Chaos Detox teaches you how to build a weekly planning system rooted in self-trust and presence—not rigid schedules that fall apart by Tuesday. You'll learn to honor your actual capacity, create white space as a strategy, and make intentional choices that align with your values instead of someone else's productivity rules.

It's not about working harder or following another template—it's about finally trusting yourself to know what you actually have room for before you say yes.

Because knowing you need better boundaries and building a system that supports them are two very different things.

Learn more →

Work with Me 1:1

Get clear, personal guidance to simplify your productivity and time management strategies and follow through on what actually works.

Coaching options →

FAQs: Embracing Self-Trust Over Goal Setting

Goal-setting focuses on external outcomes and performance metrics. Building self-trust focuses on internal alignment and keeping small promises to yourself. Instead of "I'll lose 20 pounds by summer," self-trust says "I'll move my body for 10 minutes today because it makes me feel good." The first creates pressure. The second creates confidence.
Most people approach mindfulness like another goal to achieve—perfectly meditating for 20 minutes every morning. But mindfulness for habit formation works through small, consistent daily efforts rather than occasional bursts of intensity. Start with 5 minutes. Tie it to an existing habit (like your morning coffee). Focus on observation without judgment rather than "doing it right."
Great question. Fear-based avoidance feels like paralysis—you're not taking action because you're scared of failing. Self-trust feels like intentional choice—you're taking small, aligned actions even when they're uncomfortable. Ask yourself: "Am I honoring my capacity, or am I hiding from discomfort?" If you're showing up for your small promises consistently, you're building trust.
Absolutely. This isn't about abandoning business goals—it's about how you relate to them. Instead of white-knuckling your way to $10K months through hustle and overwhelm, you build systems rooted in self-trust and sustainable energy management. The revenue becomes a byproduct of showing up aligned with your values, not sacrificing your well-being for a number.
You'll notice shifts almost immediately—like feeling less guilt when you rest or catching yourself before reactive decisions. But deep self-trust builds over weeks and months of keeping small promises. Most of my clients report feeling significantly different within 30 days of consistent practice. The key is consistency, not intensity.

Letting Go of Goals to Embrace Self-Trust