Letting Go of Goal Setting to Build Self-Trust
Every January the internet screams "New Year, New You" like it's a competition. But what if your biggest act of growth this year isn't about chasing goals—it's about trusting yourself instead?
In this episode of Ditch the Chaos, I'm sharing how letting go of rigid goal-setting can actually build deeper confidence, calm, and clarity. We'll talk about why traditional goals often fail, what presence over perfection really looks like, and how small daily promises can rebuild the self-trust you've been outsourcing to checklists. If you're craving a New Year that feels peaceful instead of punishing, this is your reset.
These lessons come straight from what I teach inside Chaos Detox—because sustainable productivity starts with mind management before time management.
In this episode, you'll learn:
- Why traditional goal-setting leads to performance, not transformation
- How "presence over perfection" shifts how you work, rest, and grow
- Practical ways to rebuild self-trust through small daily promises
- Why slowing down might be the smartest way to move forward this year
- The mindset shift from achieving to embodying
- Why traditional goal setting is broken (00:01:35)
- Personal examples: triathlons, 75 Hard, and reading 50+ books yearly (00:02:00)
- Presence over perfection: making mindful, intentional choices (00:03:00)
- How to build self-trust through small promises (00:04:37)
- The mindset of presence in business, personal life, and health (00:05:19)
- Practical strategies for embracing presence (00:06:00)
- Slow down to speed up: why pausing creates clarity (00:07:00)
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CLICK HERE → Letting Go of Goals to Embrace Self-Trust
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Full Episode Transcript
(34) Letting Go of Goal Setting to Build Self-Trust
[00:00:00] Every January the internet screams New Year or new you like. It's a competition. But what if your biggest act of growth this year isn't about chasing goals, but about trusting yourself instead?
[00:00:14] Welcome to Ditch the Chaos, a podcast for women who are tired of holding their life in business together with duct tape and coffee.
[00:00:21] I'm Cara Chace, entrepreneur mom, and recovering people pleaser who's learned the hard way that productivity advice assumes your day goes according to plan, which we know never happens. On this podcast, we're figuring out how to run your business without running yourself into the ground. Let's get to it.
[00:00:39] We're all familiar with a new year, new you hype. Set big goals. Make this your year, social media and self-help influencers urge us to go faster, aim higher, achieve more. They shame you into signing up for their intense programs. Download more checklists and make it sound like it's so easy if you just want it [00:01:00] bad enough. But let's pause and ask, is this really working for us? For many traditional goal setting feels like an endless cycle of performance without purpose,
[00:01:10] it's time for a new approach. One rooted in trusting yourself, embracing mindful choices, and focusing on presence over perfection. This year, instead of chasing goals and jumping through hoops, I'm committing to a mindset shift. I'm keeping promises to myself, slowing down and showing up in a way that feels aligned with my values and personal growth, and I invite you to join me.
[00:01:35] Let's talk about why traditional goal setting is broken. The problem with goal setting isn't the idea itself, it's how we approach it. Too often goals become about performance rather than transformation. They prioritize external validation over internal alignment, leaving little room for genuine lasting change.
[00:01:55] And here are some personal examples. In 2005 [00:02:00] and 2006, I competed in two triathlons, a half marathon, and several shorter endurance races. But when I got injured, I stopped running altogether. The goals were met. I got the accolades, but they didn't create a lasting habit or a lifestyle change.
[00:02:16] For my 41st birthday in 2021, I completed the 75 hard challenge. I checked every box, but the habits didn't stick because they were tied to the performance of it, not my priorities or it being sustainable. I've also read over 50 books a year. For the past several years , many business books were inspiring, but most didn't lead to action.
[00:02:40] Instead, I built a habit of consumption without execution. The common thread. Achieving goals can bring temporary satisfaction and that external gold star, but without the right mindset, they rarely lead to meaningful transformation. I want to introduce you to the concept of [00:03:00] presence over perfection.
[00:03:02] We've all heard the phrase progress over perfection, but even that can feel like a hamster wheel. What if instead we focused on presence over perfection? Presence is about slowing down and making intentional, mindful choices aligned with your goals and values. It's about celebrating small wins and learning from the moments when things don't go as planned.
[00:03:26] Here's some examples of presence in action. Noticing the desire to snack in the evening, and pausing to check in with your body about where that's coming from. Saying no to an overcommitment to protect space in your calendar. Taking five deep breaths before you respond when you're tempted to react emotionally.
[00:03:48] Presence helps us trust ourselves and make better choices moment by moment, which builds confidence and fosters lasting habits. So here's how we shift focus to a new way [00:04:00] of being. What if growth wasn't something you achieve, but something you embody? This mindset shift means stepping away from the hustle and content treadmill mentality, and embracing intentionality and self-awareness.
[00:04:14] For me, this has meant adopting one guiding principle. I keep my promises to myself. Okay. By focusing on small, meaningful actions, I've learned to trust my ability to grow, not through rigid goals, but through mindful intentional choices. How do you build self-trust through small promises? Self-trust isn't built overnight.
[00:04:37] It's cultivated through consistency and honoring small commitments. And here's how you can start. First, choose one daily practice. Pick something manageable and aligned with your values, like journaling for five minutes, stretching each morning, or saying a daily affirmation. Second, celebrate your mindful moments.
[00:04:58] Acknowledge when you make [00:05:00] choices on purpose, those little wins that align with your goals. These reinforce your ability to show up for yourself. And third, reflect without judgment. If you miss a day or make a choice you regret, don't spiral into guilt. Use it as an opportunity to observe and recalibrate.
[00:05:19] The mindset of presence is creating lasting impact. When we focus on presence, we make room for intentional growth that sticks in. Business presence allows you to prioritize meaningful tasks and make decisions aligned with your vision instead of getting caught up in busy work or shiny distractions. In your personal life presence deepens your connection to yourself and your loved ones.
[00:05:43] It creates more harmony and fulfillment, more presence and less reactivity builds trust in your relationships and in your health. Small mindful habits create sustainable changes that aren't tied to arbitrary goals.
[00:05:57] Let's talk about practical [00:06:00] strategies for embracing this idea of presence. Here are a few ways to bring presence over perfection into your day Set daily intentions. Each morning, remind yourself of one thing, like I will be kind to myself today. Or I'll pause before reacting. Use mindful pausing. When faced with a decision, take a deep breath and ask, does this align with my values?
[00:06:25] Journal for reflection. Use this prompt. What's one small thing I can do every day to build trust in myself? And track your promises. Use a simple habit tracker to see how often you keep your promises. That visual reminder builds confidence.
[00:06:41] And finally, slow down to speed up. Slowing down can feel counterintuitive in a fast-paced world, especially at the start of a new year, but it's a game changer for personal growth. When you slow down, you gain clarity about what truly matters. You avoid burnout by aligning actions with your energy, and [00:07:00] you strengthen your ability to stay present and mindful.
[00:07:03] And this is exactly what we practice inside Chaos Detox, where mind management comes before time management. It's about learning to pause and ask yourself if your commitments and goals make sense for you about creating more space in your day as a buffer against life's chaos. And how to build a weekly routine that flows and flexes with your life.
[00:07:23] Instead of crumbling the moment plans get derailed. If this resonates with you, maybe it's time to rethink how you approach growth and success. This new year isn't about doing more, it's about doing what matters with intention.
[00:07:38] I hope this sparks some inspiration about how presence and self-trust can transform your mindset, your personal life, and your business in a way that traditional goal settings simply cannot. Here's your reset and reclaim action step for the week. Pick one small daily promise. You can keep something easy enough to do every day, but meaningful enough to matter.[00:08:00]
[00:08:00] Maybe it's five minutes of journaling, turning off your phone after dinner, or taking one mindful breath before your first email. Keep that promise for seven days. Notice how your self trust starts to build from the inside out. Letting go of goals isn't about giving up. It's about creating space for a life that feels aligned and sustainable.
[00:08:21] By focusing on presence over perfection and keeping promises to yourself. You build trust, clarity, and calm that lasts long after the new year. Hype fades.
[00:08:33] Thanks for tuning in. If this episode helped you go check out more about the Chaos Detox course, at carachace.com, it's where productivity starts to feel like peace, not pressure. Until next time, I'm Care Chace reminding you to keep questioning the rules and making your own.
